I never thought keeping score was a particularly good way to build a referral relationship.

You sent me three.

I sent you two.

Now somebody owes somebody one.

That may work as accounting.

I’m not sure it works very well as a relationship.

If I knew someone who could genuinely benefit from working with one of my referral partners, I made the introduction.

I didn’t first check whether that person had recently sent business to me.

Over time, reciprocity usually took care of itself.

Sometimes it didn’t.

That was all right too.

A relationship still had value if I trusted the person, learned from them, enjoyed working with them, or knew my client would be well served.

The strongest professional relationships I’ve had were built around being helpful to one another.

Not around keeping a ledger.